Welcome to your Doom! Ahahaha!

I'm real. I've just got to be real. I'm alive aren't I? I'm here, I'm here right now. Why is this happening to me, I don't understand it. Was it maybe something I did or said? I always try to keep something like this from happening to me. What was it that went so terribly wrong? I always try not to say anything weird that would arouse the slightest suspicion. Could it possibly be true? Am I not supposed to have a body is that why all of this is happening?"